Hi Joe,

I say this because you say you accept people like me. I’d like to give you a thought experiment.

Imagine that every time you walked out into the world, everyone told you you were a woman. They called you ma’am. They held the door open for you or offered to carry your groceries to the car. How would that make you feel?

Imagine they told you that you would just feel okay if you learned how to do make-up or wear a dress. Imagine being made to be the center of a wedding shower or baby shower, people measuring and touching your belly, because they said you were a woman. Would that ever feel right to you?

Or maybe they told you that you didn’t have to do those things, you could be a woman and still look the way you do — but you were a woman no matter what. Maybe they told you that you were a woman while also talking over you in a professional sphere. Maybe they told you that women can look and feel however they want, but all men would start talking at the same time as you and you would never get to finish a story. Would that make you feel angry?

What if, one day, in this context, you were able to say, “Wait, I’m a guy.” How do you imagine THAT would make you feel?

The mismatch with trans people isn’t in their genitals. It’s in their belief about their own gender and how society treats them. Trust me, most of us have spent a lifetime trying not to be “confused.” I thought I was a girl, then a different kind of woman. A tomboy, maybe. But I couldn’t shake the suspicion I was really a guy — any more than YOU can shake the suspicion that you’re really a guy.

Also, as for “order” — well, intersex people happen naturally. Homosexuality happens naturally. Order is something the church and society imposed. They’re not naturally occurring flavors.